Porn has long been a dirty secret that little of us are proud to admit exists. Its seedy and underground status has kept it hidden from everyday normal life yet so many of us head to our phones, laptops and computers and partake at the first moment of loneliness or desire for sexual activity. This has become the norm in today’s society, however, how does the behaviour effect those of us in relationships or those at the start of the dating process with a partner.
Pornography is mostly a solo activity that involves the viewer fantasizing about sexual activity with another man or woman through watching them on film. What happens to the relationship when one person wants independent gratification? What does this mean to the relationship? Is this a threat to the other partner in the relationship? Alternatively, should they simply accept this as normal behaviour? We look to answer these questions in the article below:
Are You for or Against Porn?
If you have found yourself reading this article then you probably are or have been in a relationship where you and your partner have different opinions on the viewing of porn. Many people view porn as a normal part of our society and its nothing to worry about. It has seen as a past time that helps relieve the individual of urges and there is nothing wrong with that. It is just another form of entertainment that is no different from watching a movie or playing a video game. To those with this viewpoint it may be worth considering the following questions though:
- How is pornography influencing the viewer’s daily emotions and their approach towards their partners?
- At what point are the viewers watching too much porn in their partners and their own opinion?
- Under what circumstances could be viewing porn damage a relationship?
Alternatively, those who are against the viewing of pornography either independently or together should be open to thinking about the next set of questions:
- Why does a partner’s participation in porn cause their emotions to alter?
- Why does pornography cause you upset but not everyone in the same situation?
- How does my approach to my partner’s involvement with porn affect our relationship?
Experts have long deemed the viewing of pornography as a growing addiction that must be controlled by the participant but what do real people think about their habits?
People That Are Watching Porn
Most individuals that want to reduce the amount of porn or stop viewing porn all together find it very difficult. Like with any addiction they have taught their body and brain to rely on the feeling that porn gives them and taking that away all of a sudden is no easy task. People with addiction have been proven to experience less happiness and life satisfaction when you combine that with the idea of porn and having sexual encounters that may not be achievable with a partner it leaves them in a state of depression. The euphoric idea of how they imagine their relationship should be by using porn as their template become naturally underwhelmed with real-life encounters. This puts an unfair expectation on the partner and the feeling of not being good enough to please them. This all damages the relationship and is ultimately caused by porn.
The Partners on the Other Side
Those who discover their partner’s involvement in pornography often find themselves experiencing severe amounts of fear and anxiety. Everything relating to sex and sexual acts tends to leave them anxious about their partners intent and understanding boundaries. This has become more and more common as different types of aggressive sex and dominance videos have saturated the online pornography markets. People who watch these types of videos frequently blur the boundaries of consensual sexual aggression and non-consensual acts. This fear for the spouse leaves them worried about their partner’s intent during intimacy.
The challenges to relationships and dating that porn causes are very real, especially for those who have lost loved ones because of it. Most of us do not know how to deal with porn within our relationships and this drives us further apart. Many women are experiencing emotional and severe cases of physical trauma and men are struggling to balance compulsive addictive behaviour along with loneliness and depression. These major obstacles make creating a real connection between partners very difficult and distant. Is it fair to say that porn could be destroying your dating life? We believe yes it is, even you do not realize it yet.